whut

How come I can't comment on other blogs sometimes? I click on "comments" and look, there are the comments and the little personalized "please comment" witticism -- but no text box or garbled word or "post comment" button. I don't get it. Do I need to sacrifice a modem to the Gods of Internet or something?

I'm trying to be a good citizen in the blogging community, I swear! Allison, I think the present tense in novels comes off gimmicky 90% of the time! Sierra, you should start a whole "Policing Pinterest Recipes" series -- it'd be rad! James, I say goofy nature crap too and think "Dexter McChest" is a hilarious character name! Shanelle, I'm really glad you're married! Sorry, guys!

:(

So here, have a picture of a Golden Retriever cuddling baby bunnies.

And this picture of chocolate cake.

And this painting by Schiele.

Unrelated true story: The other day I was taking the Metropolitan Area Express Train (Max for short) downtown and it made me think fondly of all our train rides in jolly old England. So I nearly texted the following to Kathleen: "On Max, thinking of England." Which, if you're familiar with certain euphemistic phrases, is very funny. At the last second I foresaw great awkwardness and changed up the grammar accordingly. Phew! Crisis averted! (Because Kathleen would definitely have been so totally offended.)

And then I blogged about it.

Still on the dog thing...

So, I've been compiling a list of dog breeds I want to own someday, arranging them into groups of three, and brainstorming names for them. Because I think this is a really good use of my time right now. Assuming an average lifespan of 12 years per dog, and assuming I won't want more than three dogs at any given time, in order to own one each of the following breeds I need to start fifteen years ago and live to be 154. Hm. Still, this was fun.

Note: A few breeds are interchangeable to me, as is indicated by slashes (/).

GROUP ONE

Leonberger: Orson or Ursa

Brittany: Bourbon


Boxer: Augustus ("Gus")

GROUP TWO

/

Weimaraner/Viszla: Nickel/Penny

Australian Kelpie: Oz

Briard: Filibuster

GROUP THREE

Australian Shepherd: Matilda

Chesapeake Bay Retriever: Charlotte

Basenji: Yosemite

GROUP FOUR

/

Standard Schnauzer/Kerry Blue Terrier: Moses

Doberman Pinscher: Turtle

Akita: Ticonderoga ("Ty")

GROUP FIVE

Schipperke: Escher

/

Borzoi/Afghan Hound: Baryshnikov

Airedale Terrier: Wallace

GROUP SIX

/

Pharoah Hound/Ibizan: Niles

Norfolk Terrier: Graham

Bernese Mountain Dog: Stella

GROUP SEVEN

Great Dane: Horatio

Shiba Inu: Kismet

Standard French Poodle: Wellington

GROUP EIGHT

Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever: Chloe

English Foxhound: Hugh

Canaan Dog: Jerusha

GROUP NINE

Belgian Tervuren: Wagner

Black Russian Terrier: Trotsky

Finnish Spitz: Terwilliger

Group Ten

Newfoundland: Noah

Dachshund (miniature smooth): Shoe

Yorkshire Terrier: Pudding

Group Eleven

Border Collie: McCoy

Kuvasz: Magellan

Gordon Setter: Charlemagne

Group Twelve

Rottweiler: Grissom

Siberian Husky/Malamute: Mush

Rhodesian Ridgeback: Malcolm

Puppy Love

I discovered this (and last) year's Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is on hulu. Watching it, I was incensed anew that the Leonberger is still not yet recognized by the WKC. What is wrong with these people?

I mean, look at this. Is this not the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?!

Also, HUGE. Oh my gosh. His paw is the size of her FACE. 

They have friggin' GOLDEN EYES, okay?

And GIANT BUSHY TAILS,

which they sometimes carry curled in a highly adorable fashion.

In addition, they are brave and noble altruists, rescuing wanderers in the Swiss Alps in their spare time...

... and are 100% safe around small animals.

Basically, coolest dog ever. I so want one. Highfive.